Written Apologies Dated October 1st, 2024, Penned During Rainfall

A Poem

Sorry for my demeanor
at the last sleepover.
See, while you whispered secrets
about selective crushes,
invisibility powers, 
and bird beaks,
I schemed how to deny
lies told in the semi-circle.

Sorry for denying
the comfortable pad of your thigh
in the backseat,
on hour four.
I feared my skull was too hard, 
or maybe the contact could create
a psychic connection—
I wasn’t aware
eyes can be perceived
moving beneath their hoods.

Sorry for abandoning you
in a broken document
sometime in 2011.
I soul-searched and found
your bedrock juvenile
at a time I craved maturity,
edge of 17,
one year your elder.

Sorry for lending my body
with careless intent.
I thought it pertinent at the time,
to beguile an adult,
a peer—
so I thought—
and reap the punishment
by the pendulum of shame
and general disgust.

Sorry for being a motherfucker,
a bitch,
and an unfunny cunt.
Digitizing my thoughts
for mass consumption
on the troglodyte forum
was unwise of me.

Sorry for my confusion
on the matter of apology
and consistency therein.
Won’t happen again—
well, I’m lying now.

Sorry for my fibs,
and deepest apologies
for my attempts at summarizing
anxiety begetting human form
in a thimble of a poem.

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